Patient – MO
Age 42 · Gastric sleeve patient · August 2023
In my early teenage years I was quite slim. But after I left school to study early childhood education, my weight ballooned. I ate for comfort. I ate for boredom. I ate for stress.
I tried everything to be healthier. I’ve done Weight Watchers four times. I joined the gym a few times. I’ve done all the extreme fad diets out there. They worked for a bit, and then they didn’t. Nothing was sustainable for life.
I got up to 125kg at my heaviest point and I started to get really bad back issues. My knees and feet were aching and sore. There was one particular holiday a few years ago where my husband and I did a lot of walking and I nearly died! This old couple hooned past me and I realised that if I wanted to enjoy life and travel more, I needed to change.
I remember one night sitting on the couch, feeling disgusting and yuck because my stomach was massive. And then a TV programme came on about people going overseas for weight loss surgery. I worked out my BMI and realised I was morbidly obese so I started to consider it. I spoke to my sister-in-law who had a gastric sleeve in Wellington a few years ago. I looked up a few weight loss clinics online, looked at reviews, and asked lots of questions on Facebook pages.
The whole process was very quick and easy. Once I contacted Discover Weight Loss, I had an appointment within two weeks, and boom, within seven weeks I was able to have surgery. There were definitely times where I thought ‘what the hell am I doing’. Because it happened so quick when I had been trying to lose weight for years. But I had a very smooth run without any complications. The support I received from the clinic was amazing and I felt quite informed going into it.
The hardest part was probably the pre-op diet before the surgery. Each person is different, but I had to do two weeks of pre-op to lose 10kg which was pretty much Optifast shakes and a certain amount of protein and vegetables. I think part of it is showing that you’re committed to doing it. If you can’t do a pre-op and fail miserably, you’ll probably injure yourself or be sick after surgery. I found pre-op hard – there were some nights I would cry because I felt so hungry. But I got through it. It’s not the end of the world.
After surgery I recovered really, really well. The guidance I got from the clinic was really good about how many weeks to do puree, then slowly go onto soft food, then go onto more solid food.
The biggest thing is probably having to change your mindset because surgery is just a tool. It doesn’t change any issues you had beforehand around food. It’s a work in progress every day.
Prior to surgery I had an appointment with a dietitian and she asked if I’d ever had an eating disorder. I said no because I was thinking about things like anorexia and bulimia. In her report after the meeting she wrote ‘denies having an eating disorder’. And looking back, I would hide food. I would go down to the shop and buy a block of chocolate and eat it during my two minute drive back home. For some reason I felt like I just had to eat everything. If you’re eating in a way that’s bad for your body, it is an eating disorder.
I think many people who go through weight loss surgery have probably had years of trying to diet. So you have to get out of that diet mentality. It’s also important to know your triggers. I just recently had my follow up psychologist appointment. She said I was doing well and not to deprive myself but always go back to your ‘why’. Why did you do this? I have a ‘before’ photo of me, and I do not want to go back to that. That’s enough of a driver for me.
I can eat a little bit of everything now including chocolate and cake but protein should always be first. I’m allowed to have 90g of protein a day. My meal sizes should be about one cup of food in total per meal, but it depends on the food. For me personally, I can’t eat much meat because it fills me very quickly. But yoghurts or softer foods I can eat more of. Good protein, denser food, just sits in the stomach longer so you can’t eat as much.
Once, about four months after surgery, I went to a restaurant for dinner. I was very careful and ate just a little bit of something. That night was 12 hours of vomiting and diarrhea… I think it might have been the rich sauces and it was too early for meat. I haven’t had that again, but I’ve definitely had what they call ‘foamies’ where your mouth gets all kind of salivary, like you’re about to vomit, if I’ve eaten too much, too fast, or high sugar food. Some days you can eat more, some days you can’t. And that’s probably surprising but not in a bad way. It’s just the constant navigation of learning about your body, what you can or can’t do or have.
I’ve now lost about 47 kilos since surgery. I love how I can go into any shop and buy any clothes. That’s amazing when you’ve never been able to do that. I also have a new level of confidence. Previously when I wore togs, I would always look for other larger people around me and then I wouldn’t feel that bad. But that confidence was fake. Now I can wear togs or short shorts or a singlet and genuinely feel good. There’s freedom in not having to constantly worry if people are looking at you.
I go to the gym five days a week now and I enjoy it. Before surgery, I would work out, not see results, feel tired and give up. Now it’s my time for me, and it’s good for my mental health. It’s also much easier to move around. I work in childcare and I’m up and down off the floor, bending, moving. You just feel like you fit into society better. Being larger, you feel sometimes you’re a bit on the outer. But now I can move my body and do things that I really enjoy for me, and not say no to something because of your size – like skydiving. I would never have done that before and now I have.
My husband was really supportive and you need to have someone like that because it’s an up and down journey. But never let other people’s opinions dictate what you do with your life. Some people think weight loss surgery is the easy way out. But there’s still that daily mental fight and ‘food noise’ about what to eat or not eat. So having support is really important. It’s definitely a life changing journey, and I’m glad I’ve done it. For me, the freedom of life afterwards far outweighs any negatives.
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